Three Stories
A simple framework to help you navigate the complexities and chaos of life
A word of introduction
The two most important lessons I’ve learnt working in journalism and communications for the past 20 years are keeping things simple and being kind.
And that’s why I am so keen to present Three Stories as a simple framework to help you navigate the complexities and chaos of life.
If you feel stuck, overwhelmed or quietly at war with yourself – I hope what you read below will be as much of an eye-opener for you as it has been for me.
Andrew Horton, January 2026
It could have been any other Sunday. But it wasn’t. It was the day I somehow put the final piece into place of a very difficult and frustrating jigsaw puzzle.
I was in the kitchen, making myself a coffee, trying to avoid looking at the dishes piled up next to the sink. Not to mention the empty takeaway bags reminding me of my ‘lack of discipline’.
My two boys were sitting on the sofa, happily watching back-to-back episodes of Bluey.
My wife was trying to sleep off the effects of another crippling migraine.
And here was I, thinking this was as good a time as any to try and escape to my headphones, laptop and grey comfy chair. After all, as a parent of young children, these opportunities for ‘a break’ come around only once in a while.
I headed upstairs, just about stopping myself from tripping on a pile of hastily dispatched coats, scarves, and misplaced Lego.
It was Autumn 2024, and I knew the week ahead was likely to be stressful at work – my head and chest were feeling a little tight. There was a lot going on in my brain, and I felt conflicted.
As I sat down, I faced the usual internal accusations of ‘you can’t rest; you need to be doing something!’
What I really wanted was a bit of peace. But I felt like I was swirling in a vortex.
And this was a typical set of internal circumstances for me – the struggle to just make sense of it all – not just this indecisiveness about what I should or shouldn’t be doing this particular afternoon, but to make sense of my life: who I was, why things had happened to me or not happened, what on earth I was doing… and what I was doing on earth.
I’d studied psychology at school and briefly at university, and I’d read my fair share of self-help books. And while bits of almost every book were somewhat helpful, what I had learnt is that I didn’t want either a complicated system or a ‘quick fix’ feel-good mantra.
I needed something that actually worked – long term.
So here I am, sitting in my chair, trying to breathe a bit better and calm myself down.
And then I had a thought…
It wasn’t a dramatic ‘eureka’ moment. It wasn’t like seeing my lottery numbers come up. It was just like the gentle, understated click of a jigsaw completing – the full picture forming.
I realised that all the things in my life – the plans, the past, the pain, the challenges and the dreams – could be looked at through the lens of three different stories, and that there is a common enemy that fights against us all.
‘I’d found a really simple and helpful way to look at life’
In a nutshell, the three stories are:
The small things I can do now which I have control over (even if I can’t see any immediate benefit). I call these micro stories.
More complex projects which take time and often require the help of others, or macro stories.
The big, unchangeable facts of my life – the events of the past and the circumstances that have shaped my life. While I cannot change these, I can change how I respond to them – the meta stories.
And the common enemy:
The swirl of thoughts, emotions and physical demands we experience that prevents us making long-term, meaningful progress in life and robs us of our peace. I call this the swirl.
This way of thinking is still changing the way I see all the chaos, stuff and mess of my life. And it’s bringing me some much sought after peace and progress in the things I really want or need to do.
This is how I came up with the idea of the three stories and the swirl we’re all up against.
It just made sense.
After decades of struggle with my mental health, uncertainties around identity and belonging, traumatic experiences, heavy disappointments, and desperately wrestling with questions of faith, I felt like I’d turned a significant corner.
I’d not found ‘the answer’ for a totally peaceful and stress-free life. No, because that just doesn’t exist – for anyone, whoever you are.
I’d found a really simple and helpful way to look at life – which, the more I reflect on and push into, just makes sense.
Here’s how it works:
Have you ever felt stuck – wanting to do something positive with your life but you’re not making progress as quickly or in the way you want or feel you need to? Or you know you need to change a destructive way of living, but you just feel stuck and go back to square one every time you try.
I hear you.
It’s miserable, right?
You’re fighting against a swirl of thoughts, emotions and physical demands, which are dragging you down into a vortex of inertia.
And as you flail your arms and kick and shout, you become even more stuck in this downward spiral - like you’re trapped in a spider’s web. This determined effort you make saps you of energy, and before you know it, the sun has gone down, the sky is dark, and you collapse into your bed – feeling defeated again.
A few hours later, the sun rises again. It’s a new day, and you go again.
Same result?
Another day of defeat against the swirl? Or maybe a better day that gives you hope – but you’re not entirely sure how or why?
OK, yes, I hear you.
What underpins the whole of the three stories concept is being aware of which story type we’re dealing with at any given moment and recognising the power of the swirl and how to overcome it.
So, if we have the awareness of what is against us and a new way to look at our lives, does it actually work?
Micro stories
In the 1990s, psychologists Dr Edwin Locke and Dr Gary Latham found that by setting and achieving small, specific goals, we increase our motivation and ability to tackle larger tasks. This focus helps us overcome the inertia of procrastination and self-doubt.
More recently, James Clear’s popular book Atomic Habits explains how we can systematically break down overwhelming challenges into small, manageable actions.
“All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision. But as that decision is repeated, a habit sprouts and grows stronger. Roots entrench themselves and branches grow. The task of breaking a bad habit is like uprooting a powerful oak within us. And the task of building a good habit is like cultivating a delicate flower one day at a time.”
- James Clear, Atomic Habits
So, think of micro stories as seeds. Individually, they may seem small or insignificant, but over time, they grow and strengthen, helping us face bigger challenges with confidence.
The swirl uses our past (meta stories) to make us feel like our micro stories are ‘pathetic’ or ‘silly’. Sometimes we think one small step forward won’t really achieve anything for us.
Not true.
But as a mighty oak tree begins as a small seed – an acorn, in the same way, every micro story is a building block toward progress and peace.
It’s hardwired into us.
Dopamine is a chemical in the brain that helps nerve cells communicate. It plays a big part in how we feel and what drives us to do things. Once we push past the initial hesitation that’s holding us back from a micro story, our brain gives us small bursts of dopamine as we make progress. This motivates us to keep going.
‘It’s amazing how something so seemingly mundane can hold so much power – both the power to create resistance and also the power to release motivation.’
Studies on self-regulation and motivation suggest that achieving minor goals triggers dopamine responses in the brain, reinforcing positive behaviour and making future tasks feel more manageable (Kleinginna & Kleinginna, 1981).
It’s so easy to underestimate the value of micro stories. But notice how simple and mundane they appear at first and how profound and powerful they can become.
Here’s an example:
If there’s one thing I’ve learnt about dirty dishes, it’s that they need attention. Ignore them, and they’ll soon start to form ever more delicate structures on your kitchen surfaces.
In my late twenties, I lived alone in a one-room bedsit. I battled with what I can now identify as a swirl of thoughts, emotions and physical demands.
The dishes piled up. I used to sit for far too long alongside empty fast food packaging and ‘might-use-again’ cutlery.
The resistance was substantial.
I remember a friend of mine suggesting that I try to wash up only one plate or one mug, then stop. At first, I thought that sounded like a pathetic and silly idea. How would that solve the problem? I’d still have all the other washing up sitting there, not tackled.
But... this is where the magic of micro stories happens. By taking that first, small step of washing up one plate or mug, it then became harder to stop doing more than it was to go and sit down again.
The dopamine had kicked in.
Plates, mugs, bowls, and cutlery were flying into the sink and out onto the draining board. Before I knew it, the washing up was done, I felt much better, and crucially, I felt motivated to tackle the next thing… the rubbish bin!
So simple, right? It’s amazing how something so seemingly mundane can hold so much power – both the power to create resistance and also the power to release motivation.
By taking an attitude of humility to small actions (micro stories), it helps us not to become overwhelmed by our bigger problems, which are typically outside of our control.
The key is intention.
While some courage may be needed, these actions are small enough to accomplish easily but powerful enough to generate a sense of momentum.
As you start to embrace micro stories, you’ll likely notice a shift: larger, more complex goals become more manageable… and you’ll start to see the clouds of chaos withdrawing to reveal the sun shining behind.
“Behind the clouds is the sun still shining.”
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, The Rainy Day
A challenging work project may still require collaboration and effort, but your confidence will grow because of the smaller steps you’ve mastered. What once seemed impossible now isn’t so scary. Each micro story builds resilience, helping you tackle bigger challenges without feeling overwhelmed.
I realised that one way to tackle my resistance to going running was to put my running shoes on about an hour before I had planned to go out. And it works! Now I only need to open the front door and step out, which suddenly becomes strangely easier than taking off the running shoes and not going out at all.
Albert Bandura, together with fellow psychologist Robert Wood, showed that breaking larger tasks into small, achievable steps fosters confidence and endurance. This principle of progressive mastery provides a sense of accomplishment with each small step, maintaining motivation in the face of significant challenges.
This is where the beauty of micro stories lies. They’re small but mighty – a reminder that progress is possible, even in the face of significant challenges – however deep you are caught up in the swirl of life.
But this isn’t all there is.
Micro stories are just the kickstarters for bigger projects, goals and achievements. While they provide momentum, they sometimes reveal a need for a larger, more complex plan.
This is where we need macro stories.
Macro stories
With a BMI nearer the number of my age than is healthy, I’ve been trying to complete the NHS fitness programme Couch to 5K.
I have tried again and again but have not finished it… yet. The last time I tried, I was over halfway through it when I developed Achilles tendonitis because of the repetitive strain of running.
This is what happens when a very overweight man (aka me!) pounds the pavements with what turns out to be not very robust ankle muscles.
I decided I’d just sit it out until I recovered, to wish away the pain. After all, it sounded like a fairly good excuse for not having to put myself through the final hard weeks of the programme. Also, time is a healer, right?
But it just didn’t get better. Eight months later, and it was still painful. So I went to a physiotherapist who said my recovery could only happen if I work on improving the strength of my ‘kinetic chain’.
The kinetic chain is the joints, muscles, and nerves working together to produce movement.
When I run, as my foot hits the ground, it creates a force that travels up this chain, from my ankle to my knee, hip, and all the way up to my spine.
If one link isn’t working very well – in my case, the left Achilles tendon had become overloaded – then the force from running needs to be compensated in other links further up my body.
To remedy this, I needed to strengthen the larger muscles in my legs: the quadriceps and hamstrings.
This would reinforce the entire chain and reduce the burden on my Achilles.
When the physio recommended I join a gym, I was a bit fed up, but I kind of understood the logic.
At the gym I started to take small steps to strengthen my kinetic chain. And it worked; after a few weeks my Achilles pain started to go away. And after about three months it was gone.
It started with using micro stories to create momentum to break through a swirl that would prefer to ‘wish away the pain’ and not do what was actually needed to make a meaningful difference in my life – to recover from Achilles tendinitis.
Most days I did all I could to resist the gym, but with encouragement from my wife and a little hope that this was a good thing to do, I went.
Some days I would only stay ten minutes.
Sometimes I was there almost an hour.
I decided not to worry about how long I was there. Instead, my goal was to show up consistently.
What really helped was putting in a regular calendar entry into my work calendar (micro story) to indicate when I was going to go to the gym, getting my gym clothes and shoes ready the night before (micro story), walking each step of the treadmill, doing each leg press and pushing through each battle rope (all micro stories).
Finding healing for my Achilles is an example of a macro story because it was something that took multiple micro stories to build momentum and required the help of others (insight and expertise from my physio, encouragement from my wife, and accountability from my work colleagues).
Macro stories bring depth and meaning to our lives. They help us grow in ways we couldn’t alone.
Unlike micro stories, they don’t offer instant gratification, but they build long-term perseverance and the emotional capacity to handle life’s challenges.
They also connect us to others, helping us form relationships that enrich our lives.
But that’s not the full picture…
Meta stories
What I find interesting about many self-help books or lifestyle gurus is their tendency to focus on progress for progress’ sake, productivity over purpose, and short- or medium-term solutions that fail to consider our yearning for meaning and our desire for knowing what the point of life really is.
Permit me to generalise a little in order to illustrate a point:
The ‘solutions’ I read or listen to are typically constructed around an accumulation and combination of micro stories that you do to achieve the end goal of a macro story. For example, you want to lose weight because your doctor has advised you to for health reasons (macro story), so you take these 5-6 specific steps, such as cutting down on processed foods, exercising, etc. (micro stories) and then you either get there or you don’t.
The ever-present opposition to progress (the swirl) is usually carefully considered, and strategies are drawn up to combat it, but there’s still something missing, some wider context.
I believe this is where meta stories are best defined.
All of us have things about us that are out of our control – how and where we were born; the effects of traumatic or life-changing experiences we had no say in or means to prevent; and the events of the past that we cannot change, including mistakes we made or actions we failed to take.
Meta stories are life’s ‘givens’ – the circumstances and events that define us without our input. And they can hold huge power over us. For some they are overwhelming and life-sapping; for others they can be a source of undeserved privilege or even be seen as a superpower.
How we respond to our meta stories significantly influences our wellbeing and resilience. Often we are left with a choice: accept them and pursue a healthy mindset towards them, or at the other end of the spectrum, see them ultimately destroy us.
They remind us that we cannot control every aspect of life. We cannot change the past, and in most cases we cannot change the events or circumstances of the past that give us our identity today. Recognising this requires us to move from control to acceptance. When we embrace our meta stories, we free ourselves from the frustration of resisting the unchangeable, focusing instead on actions within our control and finding more peace in the process.
The key with our meta stories is how we view and respond to them.
Victor Frankl, who faced horrific personal suffering alongside many others during the holocaust of World War II, said:
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
Even though we can’t change the past, we can know how our meta stories shape our identity today – and acknowledge the role they play, and how they impact the small things (micro stories) and the bigger things (macro stories) in our lives.
Being aware of how meta stories are integral to our ambitions for making any sort of progress in life is helpful in itself. Awareness is so often underrated as a critical element of healthy wellbeing.
“Awareness is the greatest agent for change.”
Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose
A key meta story for me is that I suffered an unexplained acute psychosis when I was at university, back in 1997.
To this day I do not know the reason why this happened to me, but it was a horrific experience and took many years to recover from. I still shudder at the trauma I faced, feeling like I’d ‘lost my mind’ and fighting to find my feet in the world again.
I carry the memories of that period in my life and I will continue to, but I am learning to accept it and find peace.
One of the side effects of the medication I was prescribed for the psychosis was putting on weight. And this has been a reason why I’ve been pursuing running and exercise, to counteract it. Getting fitter has therefore been an important macro story for me, which I have prioritised.
But as I face up to this rather daunting macro story, I know the meta story of why I am overweight is standing over me with its power of difficult emotions and memories. The meta story here is creating ‘emotional interference’, a common trait of the swirl.
I still want to win, to make progress with my macro story (getting fitter). I don’t want to give up because I fear the consequences: putting on more weight and increasing the risk of serious health conditions such as diabetes, feeling miserable, dying younger than I would like to, and not being able to play games with my children and see them grow up, etc.
So I’m focusing hard on completing the micro stories I need to to make progress in this macro story. I’m putting my gym clothes out the night before; I’m showing up at the gym to make consistent progress, even if I only do a small bit at a time.
And crucially, because I am aware of and can identify the characteristics of each of the three stories and the swirl which tries to fight against me, I can focus harder on each micro story to build momentum and make progress.
My focus on each micro story, each individual step on the treadmill, is sharper than ever, because I am not distracted by the complexity and multi-facetedness of the macro story (getting fitter), and neither am I distracted by the emotions and memories of what’s led me to need to do this exercise in the first place (the meta story of the acute psychosis).
The swirl thrives on confusion and chaos, but it loses its power the moment we start to name our experiences – sorting the chaos of our life into micro, macro, and meta stories.
We can now breathe better!
We stop flailing in the vortex and start moving forward, making the progress we want or need to see.
The three stories framework is not a series of separate boxes. It’s an interconnected ecosystem.
Our meta stories provide the ‘why’ and the context of our lives, while macro stories give us a meaningful direction to travel.
Micro stories then act as the seeds, providing the momentum and dopamine we need to keep going.
This way of thinking balances active effort with quiet acceptance. We use small, courageous, heroic actions to fight inertia, but we use humility to handle the things we cannot change.
I used to find that I could never really hold onto any sort of focus on micro stories because of the swirl of stuff that came with the associated macro story and overarching meta story.
But now I know my enemy, and I understand how the three stories interrelate; it’s so much easier and freeing.
And with freedom comes peace.
“In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.”
Albert Camus
