How taking the bins out saved my life
Why knowing the context behind small, annoying chores gives me hope and a future.
Disclaimer: Before I tell this story, I want to add a disclaimer: I know my mum, mother-in-law and wife will be reading this. And I know I am not there yet with doing chores, but I’m going in the right direction. Please be gracious! 🙂
I’ve always wondered why I hated doing chores as a teenager. They were annoying, they got in the way of the adventures of life I wanted to pursue. I would go as far as to say they were intensely painful. Cleaning my room felt oppressive. Washing up felt like a punishment.
I don’t think I was intrinsically lazy – I just couldn’t see the point. Especially when life already felt overwhelming and confusing.
Now in my mid-forties, I’ll admit, I’m still not someone who typically rushes to do chores. They are still a battle, and most days I wish they would magically disappear.
But I’ve learnt that as well as being essential and non-negotiable – chores aren’t just about cleaning your room. They’re about calming your chaos. They can literally be a way to save your life. They build momentum and a sense of agency when things feel out of control.
As you may know, I’m working on a book. It’s called Three Stories. And it’s a framework that has helped me reframe so much of my life. It’s building my hope. I also think it might help others. And in this Substack I’m writing what I would have found so helpful as a teenager and twenty-something who felt overwhelmed and stuck when it came to chores.
A quick recap:
Three Stories is a simple framework to help you find clarity amid the chaos of life. It’s made up of micro stories, macro stories, and master stories.
Micro stories: small acts, big shifts
Micro stories are the small, everyday actions we take to move forward. They don’t change the world by themselves. They don’t heal our deepest wounds. But they create traction.
That’s what chores are. Not glamorous. Not transformative in themselves. But they do something. They remind you: “I can make a difference in my world, even if just by taking a small step forward”
Making your bed. Loading the dishwasher. Tidying your room. They’re not arbitrary. They’re acts of quiet defiance against the seemingly endless swirl of emotions, thoughts and physical demands on our lives.
Macro stories: chores in context
Macro stories, are the more complex projects which take time and often require the help of other people. Typically, macro stories centre around your work, family or friendships. These might include moving house, taking on a school or work project, getting fit and healthy, or any major life goals.
If you live in a family or shared household or community, chores are not just about you; they’re about pulling your weight in a shared, collaborative story.
I’ve also lived on my own for many years, which, as an extravert, I found very challenging. When you live on your own, chores can seem pointless – no one else sees the mess, no one’s there to care. But that’s exactly why they matter.
Doing the washing up or the hoovering becomes an act of self-leadership. It’s how you remind yourself that you are of immense value. These habits aren’t just about keeping your flat tidy – they’re about identity, integrity, and building a life with stability and intention.
They’re acts of preparation and participation. Quiet declarations that you’re still here, still building, still becoming.
Master stories: when life feels unfair
Master stories are the things we can’t change – such as the circumstances we were born into, the things that have happened to us, or the mistakes or good fortune we have had. Recognising and accepting these aspects can be freeing. Instead of resisting them, it is possible – and healthy – to learn to embrace them.
There are seasons when life feels unjust or unchangeable. When you’re carrying things you never asked for – grief, anxiety, trauma, loneliness. Perhaps you’re living in the regret and consequences of a bad decision.
So what can you do? Firstly, recognise this ‘’thing’—this master story – for what it is. It needs to be accepted – as hard as that can be to do in practice. Then take a single step in the right direction. A small action that reminds you: “I’m still here. I’m not powerless.”
Doing a small, simple, seemingly insignificant, boring and even painful chore, can be a fragile thread back to the present. A way of saying, “I still exist. I can still do something.”
This is survival. This chore could end up saving your life.
The bigger story
It’s not because the plates matter, but because you matter.
It’s not because the house is untidy, but because you crave peace of mind.
Choosing to act – even in something small – is an act of hope.
The Three Stories framework helps us to see that little things aren't meaningless. That we belong to wider stories. And that we’re not stuck – even if it feels like we are.
Don’t do everything; do one thing.
Take the bin out and start a quiet revolution.